Awkward Much?
by UncannyAnnie
Summary: One-Shot, Effie walks in to a very cozy looking Katniss and Peeta, and she assumes the worst. Effie takes it upon herself to... 'educate' Katniss and Peeta about what the results of these supposed actions could be.


**Welcome, welcome. I want to apologize if I make any spelling or grammatical errors, because the auto-correct on my computer isn't working right today. I also want to apologize if you feel I didn't do a good job writing in different characters perspectives. I'm new to this, and it will take a while until I understand how to do it well. There is another story like this out there, and I do not mean to plagiarize. If you feel that I am, I will take down the story. No hard feelings intended. Enjoy!**

_Katniss' POV_

I curl up onto a ball on my mattress, and I can't help but wonder if Peeta and I were successful today. We'd just gotten back onto the train, and are leaving District Four. It wasn't too bad there, although I was getting some mad looks from the girl's parents. But seeing as I had killed their daughter by dropping that tracker jackers nest, I understood. I wish the Victory Tour were over. Going to all of the districts, seeing all the tribute's families, it made what happened in the arena all too real. It made my nightmares worse, too. I wonder when Peeta will come in tonight. I'm contemplating getting up to go and find him, but then the door opens, and he steps in. I scoot over on my bed to make room for him. As he climbs in, and wraps his arms around me, hi whispers in my ear. "Do you think we did OK?" So he's thinking the same thing as me. I'm about to reply that yes, of course we did OK, but I stop myself. I don't know that we did OK. That's for President Snow to know, and for us to find out. But telling Peeta I was thinking this would upset him, so instead I reply with a part-truth.

"We did the best we could."

"I know that," Peeta says, "but is the best enough? I mean, I get the feeling that whatever we do just isn't going to be good enough. There's always somebody there to judge. Or to see that bad side of it. Heck, even if this were real, and we really did love each other, I'm sure there would always be somebody thinking that it wasn't, and we would have the same problem on our hands." He's got me there. It's true. And it brings a pang of sadness to me as he speaks about us truly loving each other. I wish I could love him like he loves me. He deserves it. I almost tell him what I'm thinking, but I know he's coming to me looking for comfort, not to be reassured of all his fears. So instead I just snuggle into him.

"Don't think like that. Where it may be true, we don't know. We only know what's happening now, and instead of dwelling on what could be, we should just live in life _now._" I'm surprised to hear such words come out of my mouth, and I almost believe them, but I can't. He seems to, though, and he pulls me closer.

"Never thought I'd hear you say that," he chuckles. "I guess you're right, though. I should stop worrying. It's not like it'll change anything. There's one thing that I do need to worry about, though?"

"And what may that be?"

"This District Four air is _way _too hot. But I don't want to leave you."

"I can help with that," I say, and pull off his shirt. We continue to pull off our clothing until we're in only our undergarments. It doesn't matter though. It's nothing sexual. We're only cooling off. Right? Peeta seems to sense my worry, and he turns me around to look at him.

"Don't worry. It's not like that. You know I don't expect anything of you. We're only cooling off." It's times like these where I wish I could love him. He deserves it. He's so good. Kind. And I do love him, I truly do, but I only wish I could love him the way I know he wishes I did. I wish I could be _in _love with him. I just brush it off, though, like I always do when I get these thoughts, and go to sleep.

_Effie's POV_

Tsk, tsk. Where could Katniss be? That girl is _always_ late. It's really wearing on my nerves. Even Peeta was on time today! Early, even, as I had went into his room to wake him, and found it empty. He's most likely with his prep team. Now _that_ boy has good manners. Katniss, on the other hand, can't even get up to eat! I flounce down the hallway, and up to her room. Seeing as good manners are foreign to her, I don't bother knocking on the door, and just walk right into her room. "Katniss, get up! Today is a big, bi-" I stop talking immediately as I take in the sight in front of me. It seems Peeta doesn't have as good manners as I'd thought he did. Peeta is in here, tangled in a web of blankets, Katniss cradled in his arms. At first this appears adorable, until I process the scene in front of me. They're both lying in their underclothes, and what they _were_ wearing is splayed haphazardly across the floor. The way the blankets are tangled around them no longer looks endearing, it looks as if they had gotten _in the way_. And I had heard Katniss screaming last night. I had thought it was just another nightmare, so I ignored it, but now, seeing this scene, I wonder. Were they… Screams of ecstasy? It is in this moment that Katniss and Peeta notice my presence.

"Effie!" Katniss jumps up in surprise, but then when she realizes her state of dress, she covers herself up with a sheet, and blushes a deep pink color. _Like she should._ She should be _ashamed_ of the circumstance that I have discovered them in. She could get _pregnant_, for heavens sake! I purse my lips at them, tapping my foot as I scrutinize her. This seems to make her uncomfortable, and I hate to have such poor manners, but I need to ensure she knows I'm not oblivious to the scene in front of me.

"I'll be speaking with you two later," I say, and with that I sashay out of the room, leaving them to get dressed.

* * *

Shortly after I arrive at the dining table, Katniss and Peeta arrive. I stare them down. "I will be speaking to you after breakfast," I say to Katniss. "_Both_ of you," I add, and look at Peeta pointedly, "as you both have a part in this." I can see Peeta fidget under my stare, and I am pleased once again. He _should_ feel uncomfortable. "Now, if you'll excuse my terrible manners, I have a phone call to make," I say, and strut out of the room. I motion for the Avox to follow me, and tell her to fetch me the nearest communicator. When she returns, I take it and dial up the hospital number.

"Hello, Panem Paramedics, Diamond speaking, how may I help you?"

"Diamond! It's Effie! You're _just _the person I wanted to speak to."

"Effie! Is that you? Why are you calling? Aren't you on the Victory Tour?"

"Yes, yes, I am dear, but I've come across a problem."

"And what would that be, Effie?"

"It's come to my attention that Katniss and Peeta may be having intercourse! Although this is normal, and I shouldn't pry, I know, it's terrible manners, they haven't told _anybody_ about this, and I had to find out the hard way! I'm afraid they may not be having _safe _sex, and I'm positive Katniss doesn't want to get pregnant, and so I need your help as to how to get them birth control!" Diamond is the person in charge of handling the birth control, and so I'm positive that she will be able to assist me with my conundrum.

"Well! I certainly wouldn't think Katniss would want that either! Well, not that she wouldn't want a child, but I don't think she want's one this early in life." Diamond and I continue to talk about what we can do to solve this, and after a while we have it sorted out that when we stop in District Three, there will be contraceptives waiting there for me to pick up. After this phone call, Katniss and Peeta are still not done eating breakfast, and they really do need their energy for the day if _that _is what they were up to all night, so I proceed to call a few other friends to chat about the compromising position I've caught the Star Crossed Lovers in.

_Katniss' POV_

As soon as Effie leaves the room, Haymitch bursts into laughter. "Jesus! What did you two _do _to the poor woman? She looks like she's going to burst any second now, and lecture you on the spot!" I know we can trust Haymitch, and even if he tells somebody, it won't matter, because Effie knows. All of Panem will know soon enough, because of her big mouth, so I explain to Haymitch what Effie saw when she walked into my room. This causes him to laugh even harder, if that were possible. "So tell me, sweetheart, what exactly _were_ you doing in there?" I just stare at him, shocked that he would even think I'd do such a thing, but he seems to take it as a sign that what Effie is assuming is right, and between laughs, he spits out, "I have to say, I thought it'd take bread boy longer than that to get into your pants." I stare at him, gaping, but before I can say much more, he's left the room.

As if on cue, Effie waltzes into the room, takes Peeta and I both by hand, and pulls us along behind her. I don't say anything, as I know Effie will just shush me if I try to speak, and I follow her down the hallway and into a room. The room is set up with a projector screen, and an Avox is waiting patiently next to it, awaiting orders from Effie. Effie nods to the girl, and the screen lights up with an image. I feel like I may die of embarrassment.

"On the screen is a photo of a man's penis, as Peeta has," Effie says, nodding towards Peeta. He covers his face with his hands. I wish I could do the same. "This penis, much like Peeta's, is filled with sperm," Effie informs us, and then nods to the Avox girl to click to the next slide. "This here," Effie says, pointing to the screen, "Is a woman's vagina, such as Katniss'. A woman's vagina contains eggs," Effie says, looking towards me. "The sperm, in Peeta, and the egg, in Katniss, are like two parts of a whole. So when the sperm and the egg meet, which happens through sexual intercourse, they make a whole! That whole, now becomes what you two know as a baby." Please, just kill me now. Please. "Because it is _not _acceptable for two young teenagers such as you to have a child without being wed first, we cannot have this happen. Now, when we stop in District Three, I have some things there waiting for you, so you can practice _safe_ sex, without the chance of having a baby. Let's learn how to use them properly, shall we?" Effie asks, but it's not really a question, and so she continues to explain to us what we need to do to 'enjoy ourselves properly'. There's 23 slides left. We're only on number two. Oh joy.


End file.
